Anya's Birthday 2011 - Russian Birthday Traditions.

Well, it happens every year whether we want it to or not - birthdays. It's even true in Russia. I know you have all heard me say that everything is different in Russia and birthdays are no different (wait, that's a conundrum). The point is, even birthday traditions follow a different set of rules than the customs I am used to in America.

Yes, there is the normal family celebrations but when going out with friends, here's the deal: the person whose birthday it is, invites their friends out to dinner or dancing, or whatever. Then the person whose birthday it is pays for everybody who comes. So to be invited is really an honor. That person wants to spend their birthday with you so much that they are even willing to pay for your meal or whatever you do that evening. It's pretty flattering.

Now here's the rub: gift-giving is also customary in Russia just like back home. Generally gifts given on a birthday sort-of compensate the birthday person for their expense of the night. So make it good.

Last year, on Anya's birthday, it was my first experience being invited to a Russian birthday, so I had absolutely no idea about all of this. It's always been my custom that when going out with somebody on their birthday, they are not allowed to pay for anything. Usually the group that goes with the birthday person contributes extra money to the bill to pay for the birthday person's meal and festivities together. That's in addition to small gifts.

Last year for Anya's birthday, I made a traditional 2-layer yellow cake with chocolate-ganache filling and chocolate cream cheese frosting. I brought it to the restaurant with us expecting to do the traditional candles, singing happy birthday, and diving into that thing as a group. My girlfriend, Veronika, and I also brought some really great flowers, champagne and Veronika did a portrait for Anya on her birthday. In addition to this, I was expecting to pay for Veronika and my meals plus a good portion of Anya's expenses that night. I was shocked and a little embarrassed when the group would not let me pay for anything at all at the restaurant. I would not have ordered that extra flask of vodka if I knew it was on somebody else's bill. I certainly would have brought better gifts if I knew I wasn't allowed to also help pay for the birthday girl's night as part of her gift.

Anyway, it all worked out. Anya saved the cake and took it home. Later she said many compliments about it, so I was pleased that she enjoyed it.

This year, I must confess, I didn't remember Anya's birthday and since I had just gotten back to Russia a few days ago, I got a last-minute invitation. I was dealing with my visa registration problems when she called, so I had very little time to pick up gifts and certainly no time to cook something special for her. Our group of friends seem to really enjoy when I cook, especially something sweet, so unfortunately I was going to have to disappoint them this time.

Veronika and I did however do some shopping on our way home from the visa fiasco. We picked out a beautiful potted flower which I hope will bring enjoyment for a long time instead of the traditional cut flowers that die in a few days. I could never understand the tradition of giving cut flowers. It's like saying, "here, I bought something for you to watch die". Or maybe it's sending the message that yeah, here's a reminder that your birthday is a celebration of our mortality, so here's something you can watch decay for the next several days so you won't forget you are going to die too someday. I prefer giving potted flowers. If they die, the person killed it themselves. OK, maybe that's not a nice way to put it... what I meant to say is that I prefer giving potted plants because they will provide beauty and enjoyment for years to come. In addition to the potted flower, we also bought a bottle of Anya's favorite champagne and Veronika picked out a beautiful silver bracelet for Anya.

This year, we didn't go to a restaurant. Instead, we went to Grand Michelle. This place does have a restaurant, and a night club, but the cool place is in the bowling alley. I have noticed that bowling is a sport for the elite around here. It's not cheap, but more than that it's just something new and cool around here. Back in California, bowling alleys recall the images of middle-aged, nacho-eating, beer-stained-shirt wearing, receding hairline comb-over stylin', wanna-be hustlers trying to escape their number-crunching, cubicle-dwelling, boss-hating lives for a few hours. Besides, bowling is the only sport where you are supposed to be drinking. Well, here in Russia, it's new, it's fresh, and it's for the elite. And actually, it is pretty fun.

Anya invited us to go bowling for her birthday, and it sounded like a great night out. The bowling alley does serve zakuski (appetizers) along with a quite extensive menu and of course, alcohol, so it would be a good appetizer night of fun for us. The appetizers consisted of cut cheeses, fruits, and meats. There was feta cheese, and a couple local Russian cheeses on a plate with some grapes. It's been a long time since I had grapes with seeds in them, but these were the real thing. Do you ever think about small things like that? I've been eating seedless grapes for so long, it never even occurred to me to be careful not to chew the seeds in this grape.

The fruit plate had sliced bananas, grapes and sliced kiwis. The kiwi was great, very tasty. All the fruits looked fresh, a nice change from some of the fruit I've been seeing from the street vendors lately.

The meat plate was filled with various meats. The best I could guess, there was a cured pork like ham, a sausage similar to salami, a dried salami, and of course there was a plate of yazik (that means tongue). My friends finally talked me into trying a piece of tongue. It wasn't bad, but I didn't really like the texture. Although I try to keep an open mind about food and trying new things, I just couldn't get the image out of my mind that I was eating a cow's tongue. When Julia ate a piece, I told her that it was like she was kissing a cow. I understand many people in the world love tongue, I'm just going to have to find a way to cook it myself with more flavor and a change in texture before I try it again.

left to right: Veronika, Anya, Sasha, Zhenya, Julia

This night was also the first time I had seen my friends since I returned to Saratov. I arrived only a couple days ago, and we were all busy with our various daily tasks, so Anya's birthday was the first chance to see each other. It was great to see the gang again, and I am looking forward to our usual Friday night get-togethers.

We bowled and talked and laughed for a few hours and had a great night. We drank a few bottles of wine and of course ate some good zakuski.

The girls were doing really great at bowling, certainly better than me, but Sasha was knocking down strikes consistently. I guess they have all been practicing since the last time we played together.

The bowling alley had only 6 lanes, and each lane is rented by the hour. I remember in a different bowling alley we went to a couple years ago, we got cut off in the middle of a game, just as I was bowling a strike too. Here at Grand Michelle, that wasn't a problem. We played until our 'reservation' was finished and we didn't have any problems with them kicking us off the lanes.

It is a little funny to me though, they have a guy whose sole job is to make sure nobody walks onto the lanes with street shoes. I have my own bowling shoes from years ago when I did play in a league in Santa Barbara. They still fit, and I'll probably use them a lot more here in Russia than I will in California so I packed them in my luggage on one of my trips out here. The security guy was ready to wrestle me to the ground before letting me onto the lanes until he saw that my shoes were actually black bowling shoes. Not the fashionably-challenged, multi-colored footwear everybody else has to wear.

However, one problem with having your own shoes: people expect you to bowl like a professional, and I'm no professional bowler. In any case, I always have fun spending time with my friends, and if I get a strike or two in there while bowling, bonus.

I want to mention that Anya, Julia and Zhenya have all been friends since childhood. Sasha is Zhenya's husband and really a great man. I feel lucky that they have included Veronika and I in nights like these. It's really great to have good friends. Now, if I could just work out my visa problems, I wouldn't have to leave so often and I could settle into a normal lifestyle here. Oh, and when Zhenya heard about my difficulties registering my visa, she offered to help by going to her local registration office and trying to register me there. It's a really generous offer, and she has helped me out in similar situations so much in the past, I'm lucky to have good friends.

To update you on my visa difficulties, I got a call this morning from the regional registration office again saying "Come in tomorrow and maybe we can help you." So I called Zhenya immediately who was waiting in line at her local registration office, and asked her to not try to register me, just-in-case it would cause more confusion and problems. The phone call I received was from another big boss in the first office that we went to. And this call was after the yo-yo effect I had yesterday when the biggest boss said I should be registered for 30 days, but then called later and said only 2 weeks. Now what is this call, implying that they will register me for the 90 days my visa is valid for? I told Veronika that probably this lady just wants to meet us, to see what all the talk is about, curiosity, but we should go anyway because who knows what can happen.

Veronika and I went to the office and explained the whole situation. Many times the lady sounded like she was going to help, and even made a couple phone calls while we were sitting there. I feel sorry for the people waiting in line behind us, we took a long time inside. However, it became clear that this lady was angry that the people at the office who registered me for the 2 weeks. They didn't take money from me as punishment for breaking the rule (or maybe just because having an American nearby means you should take his money), and she told me that I should go back to that office. She didn't say it exactly like that, she tried to imply that if I go back to that office, maybe they could register me for 90 days, but she couldn't guarantee anything. In any case, she said that while I am there I should pay 3000 rubles since I broke the rule. This whole time I've been trying to ask them what rule I broke and show them that I didn't break any rule. They don't care, just want my money. I realized we were not going to get anywhere with this lady when she asked me if I was a terrorist... 3 times.

After I told her that I am only interested in the culture and local cuisine here in Russia, with possible plans of someday opening an American restaurant here locally, she actually laughed at me and asked what flavors I could bring, cheeseburgers? We already have McDonald's. I was simply amazed, and realized this meeting was going nowhere. Time to leave. The lady reminded us to go to the other office who might be able to help us which I interpreted as please go pay us 3000 rubles ($106).

We came home, and I went online and found my plane tickets. I will be returning to California on April 4th. I would like to stay in Russia until June like my visa says I can, but I guess the local registration officials are too afraid of the strange American terrorist who has been coming here the last 3 years. I told them I didn't come on a terrorist visa (or tourist), it's a normal business visa like I've used many times before. Anyway, everything happens for a reason, at least I'll be in California for my mother's 60th birthday party. Yup mom, I said it... on the internet... 60!! I wonder if we'll go bowling.